[log] Kenya & Shiraishi

[naniwaspeed]

Who: Oshitari Kenya and Shiraishi Kuranosuke
What: After Yukari spills the beans on her and Kenya's relationship to her brother, Shiraishi decides to pay Kenya a little visit so they can talk about it.
When: Late last night (September 7th)
Where: Kenya's place
Rating: G

After a successful talk with Yukari, Shiraishi sends a message to Kenya about their meeting. When they decide he’d go to Kenya’s he leaves Basil Gardens straight away. It wasn’t a long trip to his best friends’ place, but this time around it felt like an eternity, as much as he hated how cliche it sounded.

Finally though, he reaches the place and rings the doorbell, waiting for Kenya to come open the door.

The evening had been far too exciting for Kenya’s liking and despite the fact that he had spent much of the evening gearing himself up for the inevitable, it didn’t make him feel any less anxious knowing that Shiraishi was probably going to disown him as a best friend. It had helped immensely going out on the run with Zaizen - he always knew how best to bring him down from the ledge, and it did help clear his mind. His cousin was also an interesting addition to the night, though he had wandered off to do whatever it was that Yuushi did when left to his own devices. But when the inevitable text arrived and with the anticipated meeting on the horizon, he finds himself pacing back and forth in the living room, nervous energy bubbling around within him, and admittedly startles when the doorbell goes off.

Well, it was either accept his fate and let Shiraishi in or put it off for all eternity until Shiraishi gave it up. Not that it was going to happen. Wishful thinking, that.

Steeling his nerves, Kenya puts his hand on the handle of the front door, hesitating for a only a moment before opening it. “Hey,” he says a bit lamely.

Now that he was in front of Kenya’s place Shiraishi was admittedly getting a little nervous as well, but luckily he was pretty good at hiding it. Especially when he was trying to act more scary calm. Smiling a very calm smile at his best friend. Like the moment before a storm.

“Hey. So, are you going to let me in?” he asks, voice neutral.

The thought is gone just as quickly as it comes, but Kenya’s reminded of that time when they were at the U-17 training camp in their third year of middle school, standing on opposing sides of the net. He hated it then, and he hates it now - that feeling that somehow he has disappointed Shiraishi, that he has put a burden on their friendship that is not so easily forgotten.

It makes the nervous energy churning within instead bubble over and it’s probably written all over his face even as he tries to muster a smile and an inviting, “Yeah, of course, come in.” He steps aside and closes the door when Shiraishi enters before motioning to the couch. “Wanna sit down?”

The feeling back then is rather similar to what it is now. There is disappointment, that he can and has to admit. It was for similar reasons he was upset this time, too, even if those had been negative emotions bottling up and this was supposed to be a happy thing.

Shiraishi nods as he goes to sit down on the couch. Maybe he’d be more intimidating while standing, but he doesn’t want to scare Kenya too much. Well, maybe he wouldn’t, but the risk was there, knowing how sensitive he could be.

“I talked to Yukari.” He says, simply.

Kenya plops down on the couch beside him and lifts one leg to settle beneath him, the other now acting as the filter for the nervous energy as he jitters it. The run earlier truly had helped calm the nerves, but he probably wasn’t going to be able to sleep if he didn’t go for another… and then maybe unceremoniously snuggle with his cousin on the couch with ice cream and a dumb romantic comedy. Or his girlfriend. He wasn’t quite sure what.

“Yeah, I had a feeling,” he responds, resting his elbow on the back of the couch as he faces his best friend. Admittedly, he doesn’t really know what to say - there weren’t any words that could make the situation better and while he hoped that Yukari and Shiraishi were able to settle things between them, Kenya didn’t anticipate necessarily the same treatment. “I…” The word sticks on his tongue and he doesn’t know how to formulate his thoughts.

“Out of curiosity, how do you think I feel right now?” Shiraishi looks at Kenya with an expecting look on his face. It’s a question to see how Kenya thinks he feels. Something he can play along the lines with or vaguely agree with. Either way, he doesn’t want to say anything yet himself.

Even if he was going to take his ‘revenge’ on Kenya, he didn’t particularly like how tense they were right now. He just wanted to laugh and hang out with his best friend… but he also felt hurt over being left in the dark for so long, so this needed to get out of the way.

It didn't take a so-called genius to know how Shiraishi probably felt. It would be like if Kenya didn't know about someone special in Yuushi's life - it seemed a bit silly to think of it in terms like that, but it would be devastating and to say he was feeling hurt wouldn't even begin to cover it. It would be one thing if it was a distant family member or a friend who he would meet for coffee once in a while, but other thing entirely to be someone so close.

“...I can only imagine that you feel hurt,” Kenya admits, his jittery leg only getting worse. He is probably shaking the whole couch now; hopefully Shiraishi had the patience for that. “And probably mad, though I hope that you're just mad at me, and not at Yukari.” No, Yukari was perfect, and didn't deserve anything other than utmost love from her brother.

Shiraishi watches Kenya, not minding the shaking couch too much. As long as he didn’t lean too much into it, it didn’t bother him. Maybe he should have said something in an upset tone and show off being annoyed, but he didn’t feel like acting that far. Honestly, he felt bad for how nervous Kenya was, but… at the same time he was a bit hurt about that, too.

“True, I’m hurt”, he admits. He would likely feel hurt for a while even after these conversations, but it wasn’t anything that would stick for the rest of their lives. “I feel like I’ve been betrayed. By my own best friend and little sister, no less. Of course it hurts.”

He’s not denying or confirming the part about being mad. He’ll let him draw the conclusions until it felt like the right time to ease his mind. “What were you thinking?”

For all the things that Shiraishi could have done in response - yell at him, storm out of the room, tell him that they could never be friends again - it was the notion that Shiraishi felt as though Kenya and Yukari had betrayed him that hits him the worse. It takes all of his willpower to not visibly recoil from the comment, eyes widening. He doesn’t quite know what to say - it takes the last ounce of willpower to not simply burst into tears as it wouldn’t be productive for either of them to manage the situation at hand.

Instead, words start to tumble out of Kenya’s mouth before he even has the forethought to stop his babbling. “I don’t know what I was thinking. At first it was just because we thought that you wouldn’t approve and we didn’t know how to tell you, and then even though we’ve talked about telling you since then, the time just never came around even after Yukari moved here, and I’ve been so wrapped up in school and trying to keep everything together that the time spent with her was the time when I could just relax and not worry so much, and…”

His words slow to a stop as he takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. The jittering in his leg mirrors the rhythm of his heart - quick and steady. Somehow, it helps ground him, even with the way that Shiraishi looks at him with that passive and calm expression that was comforting to Kenya during times when he needed that reminder that the world would right itself in the end, but was also what could cause his blood to boil in times when what he really wanted was for Shiraishi to do something.

Another breath escapes Kenya, this time one born of frustration. Not frustration with Shiraishi - but instead with himself. Excuses were just that - excuses.

“I’m sorry.” Kenya looks back to Shiraishi, jaw set. “I really didn’t mean for it to go on this long, but it did, and I’m sorry. I’ve betrayed your trust and it hurts so much to think that I’ve done that, but all I can really do is say sorry for that, too.” He deflates with the third apology and buries his hand into his hair. “I hate this.”

Shiraishi remains calm and passive for the whole time Kenya talks, his expression changing from time to time between more hurt and kinda sad. It was hard to actually listen to him being so panicked, but it was also good to hear all the, well, excuses they had. Excuses or not, they were still reasons. Reasons they had believe strongly in back then.

By the time Kenya’s apologizing, Shiraishi’s looking down. His hair had grown during his self searching trip so that his bangs could slightly cover his eyes. Nice dramatic effect, but Shiraishi wasn’t thinking about that. He couldn’t. He couldn’t just continue to torment Kenya like this. Not longer than this.

So the next course of action he does is something that likely wasn’t expected at all: a hug. He wraps his hands around Kenya and pulls him close. “You idiot”, he whispers, voice kind of dry.

“How could you think that I’d be upset about this? You’re my best friend. There’s no one else I’d rather trust my own little sister to than you. Maybe I’d have been shocked back then, but I’d also have been happy. And truly I’m happy for you two even now, but I’m just sad, hurt, you’d keep this from me for so long. I’ll get over it.” He might be shaking a bit himself, mostly because saying those things out loud twice in a row is kind of tough. Admitting he’s hurt and upset. He’s never been good at tha. He’d rather bottle up. This time it just wasn’t an option.

“I love you both. I want you to be happy. But I also want you to realize that I’m more upset about being left in the dark for so long than anything else. We weren’t supposed to have any secrets between us, you dumb idiot.”

Shiraishi's words don't register immediately, even moments after he's squished against Shiraishi's chest. The steady, rhythmic rise and fall of his best friend’s chest is comforting - it calms him immediately, his leg coming to a stop from what may have been eternal jitters had he been left to his own devices. The earlier thoughts of needing a run to straighten his mind flee, instead replaced by the certainty that maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be alright.

He's not… he wasn't…

When his brain catches up to the rest of him, Kenya hugs Shiraishi back tightly, his eyes genuinely watering though he would later blame it on the dim light of the living room. It was just such a relief. A weight that Kenya didn't even realize he had been carrying lifted from him, the knowledge that while Shiraishi was valid in feeling hurt that they didn't tell him sooner, it wasn't going to permanently ruin their friendship or turn it sour. After a good night's rest he would realize that Shiraishi had been making it extra hard on him and that his ultimate happy feelings were genuine all along, but for the time being he was simply going to be happy that they could talk freely and openly.

“I know, I know, we promised each other.” Kenya laughs a little, shoving his shoulder half heartedly, though his grip on the other man meant it wasn't a very successful shove. “I really am sorry for that - I didn't want it to be so long, I didn't even really want it to be much longer than the early stages, either, just… y’know.” He lets out a sigh of relief, pulling away just enough to meet Shiraishi's eyes. “I - we - love you, too. It really does mean the world to me that you're happy for us ‘cause we're really happy, too.”

Shiraishi can feel Kenya calming down, which makes him relax as well. The expression he has softens a lot, even while there’s no one to see it straight away. Really, he couldn’t be mad or pretend mad at Kenya for too long. He was too important for Shiraishi. Besides, from the looks of it, it was enough torment without him adding to it.

He laughs softly at the shove, amused that both Yukari and him would do that. In general, he looks calm and happy when Kenya finally looks at him. The hurt he has is pushed to the background for now. He had time to mope on it alone sometime. Kenya knew it wasn’t gone that easily anyway and he wanted to rather make sure that there was no doubt that they were alright. Would be alright.

“There was a lot going on, I know. You were worried how I’d take it when I wasn’t completely cool with myself either, right? And I get that, even if my opinion is opposite.” He’d have been shocked, but happy and kind of glad to have a distraction of the burning house inside his mind, but that was that. This was this. “I might need to call you super slow star for a while though. As a punishment.”

By the tone of his voice, he could mean it or not. He needs to be a little mean.

Whether he meant it or not, Kenya felt it was well within Shiraishi’s right to be mean all he wanted. God only knew that he deserved that much given the circumstances.

Even so, he laughs, the hesitation melting away to be replaced by a familiar air of confidence much like Simba declaring that he laughed in the face of danger. “Yeah, you can call me Naniwa’s slow star right up until I prove you wrong and then you’ll have to go back to knowing me only as speed star.” Kenya would make sure that time would come much sooner than even Shiraishi would expect; he needed to keep his best friend on his toes, after all.

He grins brightly, giving Shiraishi’s shoulder a playful shove again before releasing him and flopping back on the couch. This was much better - familiar. There were certainly going to be things to unpack, hurt feelings to work on, and really all Kenya wanted to do was wrap Yukari up in his arms and try to forget the evening even happened, but what was important was to be present to the moment. And that moment was to assure his best friend that things were good and that he really did have every intention of sharing.

“But yeah, you’re right. I was worried about you, and that didn’t help. We actually had really decided we were gonna tell you and then you went on your whole trip to Nara and stuff, so y’know, shit happens.” The jittering of his leg resumes, less now of nervousness, but more because trying to keep him still was forever going to be a lost cause. “I want to tell you more about it, though. I mean, obviously I know you’re not gonna wanna hear all of it ‘cause it’s your sister, but I wanna tell you how it all came about.” And were Kenya to be completely honest with himself, it was likely that Shiraishi wasn’t even going to be all that surprised once Kenya dug into the details, anyway. “But it can wait for another day when we’re both in a better head space.”

Shiraishi lets out another laugh. He has no doubt that Kenya would prove his claim wrong and become the brightest speed star there is again. It was just the way his best friend was. Shiraishi leans back into the couch, keeping his eyes on rather than letting them settle on the jittering leg. It could be rather distracting.

“Yeah, as long as you spare me the details, I’ll gladly listen. On another day. Just having this conversation now is plenty for tonight… and besides, I think you’d rather change hugging me into hugging Yukari.” There’s an innocent smirk on his face for a moment before he just smiles. “I’m really glad you’ve been there for one another and will continue to be and… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for worrying you and running off to Nara,but you don’t need to worry about me anymore. I promise.”

His apology is genuine and he bows a bit, almost as if in shame. He had been a troublesome friend with his problems and he regretted being so difficult to handle. But he would be okay now.

Not that Shiraishi was off the mark - as per usual, Shiraishi was able to see through his thoughts without so much as an ounce of struggle. But with the way he spoke, Kenya knew that there was one way that Shiraishi was off the mark, and very off the mark at that. He didn’t want Shiraishi to apologize for anything. No, if anything, he was glad that whatever journey he had taken himself on had been for the best - that he had come home with a focused mind and clearer than when he had left. And for that, Kenya was grateful because he never wanted Shiraishi to feel isolated or alone, or out of control of his life.

“Kura, stop that.” It was gentle and out of fondness, but it was still a karate chop that Kenya laid on Shiraishi’s head to bring him out of the bowed position. “I don’t want you to apologize. I’m really glad that you did what you did, especially if it helped you and continues to help you. Now who’s being the dumb idiot?” The grin on Kenya’s face brightens as he instead pats Shiraishi’s shoulder. “We have some stuff to work on, but you’re still just as important to me now as you were ten minutes ago, a week ago, and three years ago, and you don’t have to apologize for anything. So, seriously - we’re good.”

There’s a very quiet and small yelp at being karate chopped and Shiraishi raises his gaze back to Kenya. Granted it didn’t hurt but it was still surprising. What Kenya says then kind of makes him emotional, but it mainly shows in his eyes for a moment before he sighs in relief, a smile settling on his face.

“It takes an idiot to know an idiot, you know”, he says with a grin. “You’re very important to me too, Kenya. I’m really glad to have you as a friend.”

Okay, that’s getting kind of sappy. Next thing they do is running off into the sunset or something… Shiraishi shakes his head at the mental image. “I should probably go back soon.”

“Wouldn't have it any other way,” Kenya says with ease, a calm smile settling over his features. Yep, this was much better. “Well, my phone has been going off in my pocket and I should probably check up on Yukari.” And my cousin was the continuation of that statement, but Kenya didn't bother to bring up that little fact to Shiraishi. There would be plenty of time to tell him of the new houseguest he had gained that night, when both of them weren't quite so emotional. “So, it's fine if you need to get going. We have our date this weekend, anyway, right?”

“You should do that, yeah. And yeah, we do. I’ll let you know later on when me and Yuuji go out so we can decide on an actual time.” Shiraishi gets up from the couch as he talks before heading towards the door. Before he walks out of the door he looks back with a smile. “Good night.”

“Sounds awesome,” Kenya says, coming to a stand and following Shiraishi to the door. He holds his hand up in a short wave and mirrors the smile. It’s genuine - the weight has been lifted and the anxiety subsided, and he feels lighter than he has in months. He felt like he could shoulder the world, even if there was going to be more to figure out later. He could unravel that when he had some time to reflect.

“Yeah, have a good night, Kura~”